Thursday, May 16, 2013

The Breast Milk Cappuccino: The Good and Bad Decisions of Early Fatherhood

As many of you may know (at least my close friends and family who read my blog) I am a day shy of being a week-old dad today. My boy, Liam, is one of the most handsome individuals I've ever met, and I'm not just saying that because he's my son. Liam is awesome and so is my wife/producer-of-this-boy Correne.
One of the first things that went through my mind as my wife and I discussed our desire to breastfeed our child was this: making a breast milk latte. Why? Why not was my bigger question. And now, I have tried it and have important news to relay to those wanting to try one: don't. It's disgusting and tastes like a million different things that you've never wanted to taste before. Let me explain the pros and cons.
1) Consistency is not there. In order to obtain the amount of breast milk needed for a cappuccino requires multiple pumps, which then makes for multiple possibilities of tastes in the breast milk. From what I've read on breast milk, it tastes like what momma has had to eat or drink before. If she had something sweet, the milk would take on that sweetness, and so on and so forth with different foods and drinks. Three different types of milks pumped at three different times means putting together milk that is destined to taste funky.
2) Milk fat is all over the place. Again, this has to do with consistency, as some milks were higher in fat content than others. While texturing the milk, it reminded me of texturing soy or almond milk (meaning watery and not fatty for a good cap).

3) It's breast milk. It's disgusting and should not have been done. Breast milk is for the baby and has all the nutrients that the baby needs. It is not for making espresso based drinks. Trust me. Please. 

I'd like to think that fatherhood as all about making good choices and learning from the bad. I'd like to think of this as one of my first bad choices. However, I've learned my lesson and now am passing this wisdom back to you. Do not try this (as if you were even thinking about it...I know some of you were thinking about it, cough, cough, Andrew Gomez).
Yes, this was documented on video; in all it's wondrous glory. Check it out here

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